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Personal and Life Coaching

We are Human Beings. 

  1. What do you want?
    should be "Who do you want to Be?" "What do you want" means What do you want to DO, or What do you want to HAVE "What do you want to BE" is impersonal
  2. What Is a Personal Coach?
  3. How coaching works
  4. Finding the Right Personal Coach/Mentor
  5. Is Relationship Counseling for You?


1. What do you want?

Personal and Life Coaching - What Do You Want?


2. What Is a Personal Coach?

You may not be familiar with the definition of a personal life coach, but you are familiar with life coaching in general, whether you know it or not. As long as there have been successful people, there have been personal coaches, in the form of mentors, confidants, friends, advisors, guides, and peers. The key to coaching is finding someone who is committed to your success, who cares about you and your goals.

A Personal Coach Is on Your Side

In the mid-1980s, the word “coaching” became a catch phrase for the type of mentoring that resulted in increased power and personal effectiveness. Coaches are hired for a variety of reasons. Usually, the client has a specific goal in mind, though a general life coaching scenario could include all areas of a person’s daily challenges. Some coaches specialize in areas such as business, leadership, career, finances, health and wellness, or relationships. There are also coaches for parenting, speech, and spirituality. After being coached, the client is usually able to set goals, take action, and make positive decisions in a timely manner. Personal coaching results in the enhancement of an individual’s natural strengths.

When you hire a personal life coach, even if you are unclear about all of your goals in doing so, you will get the following benefits:

A Personal Coach Is Not an Encyclopedia

You know more about yourself than anyone else could possibly discover, even a trained life coach. Fortunately, a coach doesn’t need to be an expert on you or in your field of interest in order to help you achieve your goals. Coaches have years of experience in the one thing that successful people understand: process. By asking you questions, your coach will help you to clear what has been blocking you, clarify your desires, and make a plan to achieve your goals. You may not be clear on where you’re headed, but a coach can help you figure it out.

A Personal Coach Is Empathetic

Life coaches have empathy. This is vital to the successful coaching relationship. Emotional intelligence, excellent listening skills, common sense, psychological training and techniques, and an easy manner are all traits of a good life coach. Without these traits, finding out what you truly desire in life would be impossible. But with them, a good coach can draw out of you what you have always wanted but never knew you didn’t have. They can tap into the deepest desires of your childhood, your heart, and your spirit and move beyond the adult masks that you have created to block your dreams.

As coaches, we know how to help you incorporate the traits of people you admire until you possess the same qualities. Using imagery and affirmations, linguistic patterns and unspoken assumptions, a coach can weed out who you truly are and bring forth who you truly want to be.

We can also help you overcome the negative thinking and subconscious expectation of failure that so often impedes progress using consulting and psychological techniques, such as Neuro-Linquistic Programming (NLP). NLP is a system of coding human behavior to show you how you behave when you are at your best. We also use cognitive-behavioral therapy, incorporating framing and metaphors to adjust your worldviews. Personal coaching combines science and people skills with genuine concern for your success and well-being.

A Personal Coaching Relationship

If you are still uncertain about the coaching relationship, here are some highlights:

Accountability is one of the best motivators. A social contract, such as a marriage in public, is a way of binding ourselves to our commitments. If we make these commitments in front of others, involving others, then we are more likely to keep them. A social contract with your coach is a sure step toward your goals.

Unlike other friends or mentors, your life coach is available to you full-time. We use our proven techniques and absolute focus to bring your goals to the surface and help you realize them. Also unlike other friends or mentors, a coach will always tell you the truth, even when it’s difficult to hear.

A coach is good way to get help with life’s challenges without seeing a therapist. Sometimes you don’t need that much counseling, but you do want some help moving out of a rut. Your coach will not focus on your past as a way to help you, but will always focus on your future. Instead of analyzing dysfunction, you will spend time with your coach functioning at a new and higher level.

The answers are often inside of you already, but after years of conditioning or negative thinking, you may need some help to see them. Your personal life coach motivates you to find your own answers, rather than imposing “expert” opinions or theories. Your plan of action comes from your creative and authentic self after your coach has helped you tap into that resource.

A Personal Coach Is Guided by Principles

Your personal life coach is non-judgmental and unconditionally positive in his or her approach to you. You are completely accepted in the presence of your coach.

Your personal life coach is authentic, always honest while remaining sensitive to your feelings and thoughts.

Finally, your personal life coach is empathetic and compassionate at all times.


3. How coaching works

 Where?

I live in Gloucestershire (Lydney, Forest of Dean).  I can and do travel to see clients wherever necessary.

How much?

A typical programme of sessions would be 3-6 sessions, depending on what you want to work on, and in what context.  Discounts apply for prepayment for a course of sessions, and I am happy to discuss the exact cost by telephone or email if you contact me and tell me what it is you desire.

How coaching works

Techniques used - the "Toolkit"


4. Finding the Right Personal Coach/Mentor

Hiring a personal coach to guide you through the trials and challenges of life, career, and relationships is a smart move. Rarely do we have someone who is completely devoted to our problems, our goals and desires, and our time frame. Friends and family can only go so far. They have their own lives to attend to and may not be able to be there for you on a regular and extended basis. In addition, people with whom we have personal relationships are often too emotionally involved with us to really see things from an objective point of view. Your best friend or your mother may not be able to see you without picturing all your past mistakes and successess. Your brother or your business colleague may not know enough about your inner dreams and motivations to accurately offer you advice that could bring about the most desired result for you. People can only offer you what they have learned from their own experiences.

This is where a personal coach can make all the difference. But what should you look for in someone who will be with you on a regular basis for potentially several months, even years? How do you know what type of person is best suited for personal coaching and most compatible with your lifestyle and goals? Is this really all about finding someone who can protect you from the pain of reality or do you want a drill sergeant to snap you into line?

The answer to the last question is probably neither. Think about it. While it would be great to have someone simply cheer you on and tell you what a great person you are and how everything is all going to be okay as they pat you on the head, this type of interaction does not do much to further your goals. Sympathy is something you get from your friends or your loved ones, hopefully. But it is not what you need from a personal coach.

Unfortunately, many of us stay in a rut because we are too afraid or too closely involved in a situation to see the true nature of it. The only way out of this denial is through it. Sympathetic hand-holding will not give you the necessary motivation to move through your fears if you have been stuck there a while.

On the other hand, a drill sergeant approach to your life is not necessarily healthy either. Most people do not appreciate being insulted or talked down to, much less given orders. It’s hard enough to take orders in the workplace; you do not need that type of relationship with a personal coach. The job of your coach is not to tell you what to do or how to do it. Your coach does not have all the answers to every question. Instead, you coach is a listener, a facilitator, and a motivating factor inserted into your life voluntarily that can bring about lasting change.

Honesty, then, seems to be the best policy. Rather than sugar-coated platitudes or disrespectful commands, a straightforward personal coach can bring you to the truth of a situation gently, yet firmly. Your coach will motivate and inspire you to look within yourself for the answers you already possess. In a crisis, this type of honest feedback is invaluable. A personal coach can provide a challenge to your preconceived ideas about your life and yourself, offering you the opportunity to be honest in return. Without influencing your decisions or opinions, your coach can be the best friend you have.